


Blue Past

by 7d0llflowey



Series: Blue lips, blue veins [1]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Autistic Character, Disabled Character of Color, F/F, F/M, Gen, Multi, Non-binary character, Other, a bit of gay and i finally decided more about my mc, and discussion of disability, i researched and south korea is not very different than most countries in how they treat disability, looks and past, there's a bit of sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-19 15:53:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13707708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7d0llflowey/pseuds/7d0llflowey
Summary: You just noticed that you should at least send one selfie to RFA, except for 707, they have no idea how you look like. Though you should avoid sad memories next time.





	Blue Past

**Author's Note:**

> I'm next to finishing Jaehee's route the second time! Hope someone likes it, and likes my mc. it's okay if you don't tho, i'm used to it  
> also, if someone knows how to post the emoticon stickers, i promise to fix it in this fanfic and put in the next ones!

The first time you send a selfie in the chatroom was when you were stuck in Rika's apartment. That place gave you the creeps, and while you were okay working inside and just going out for food, you sometimes had to distract yourself even in such a vain way. It was only Jaehee at night, for some reason. Yoosung must have been busy playing games, Zen had a musical to do the next day so he had to be rested, but the others could still appear, could they not? So you took courage, and asked Jaehee.

Alinchacha: So, Jaehee? I just realized that you all never saw my face?

Jaehee Kang: Yes, since we never met in person.

Jaehee Kang: I can't deny that I'm curious, you sound like a patient person so your appearance may match.

You smile, ready to take a nice selfie. After a smile and a flash, you quickly send it to the chatroom. You used to hate your appearance when you still lived with your adoptive parents, when they would insist in choosing clothes and hairstyle for you, things too girly that made you deeply disphoric. At least they respected that you were autistic and hated things that didn't have comfort. But now, you look the way you like.

Alinchacha: Ayy, Jaehee, what do you think of my face lololol

Jaehee Kang: ... Wow. You weren't kidding when you said you were not a girl. You look quite exotic, i would say.

Alinchacha: Exotic?

You look back to the photo. You guess a dark color when light skin was considered more stylish did make you look exotic. Even more with your really messy short hair painted in royal blue, just the way you liked it. Dang, though you should get it to be painted again, the brown roots began to show again. Your eyes were light brown, very simple. Zen looked more exotic than you, in your opinion. He had both hair and eyes in a very rare colors.

You couldn't help but grin though, if Jaehee saw you surely didn't look like a girl. You loved wearing stuff that made it difficult to pin a gender on you. Long fluttering skirts with manly black jackets and rock shirts, or long pants full of pockets from the man aisle with the most pure dress full of laces, your binder sometimes being used and sometimes not. While going out that way was dangerous, there was nothing that made you more confident of being yourself than, well, being yourself.

Jaehee Kang: Oh

Jaehee Kang: Please, don't it the bad way. You look very handsome.

Jaehee Kang: Pretty? I'm not quite sure which term to use.

Alinchacha: You might as well just say i look attractive, sweets

You stopped for a moment, wondering if it sound too bold. Did it? But you couldn't help it, you guess. Jaehee was a really attractive woman herself, and while you didn't usually gave too much thought about relationships except when you felt broken in your teen years, you couldn't take your eyes from her when they sent a photo. It was quite the problem, since you would get distracted the whole day instead of just working. You would write a intense scene and her eyes behind the glasses flashed and made you a mess on the top of the keyboard.

And the first photo you were sent of her, when Seven made a joke and said it was you and nobody else recognized it, damn. It did accentuate her generous chest. You feel like a pirate who found a treasure chest, wanting to fondle and sleep on it, wanting to uncover her secrets and beauty that she hid thanks to Jumin Han, that trustfund kid. This crush of yours was like a daily punch on the face, and you couldn't hide it sometimes? You even told to Yoosung that she was yours, you wondered if she read it. But she never mentioned it. And she seemed to need and want a friend, and to see you as a friend, so no matter how cute she was, it wasn't your right to demand a relationship. Besides, no matter how not girly you were, you still wasn't manly, and never wanted to be.

It was always much easier to find cute girls into girls. If they were into you, they might be just misgendering you, and it felt bad. You were scared that no one in the RFA, except maybe Seven, really understood how not girl you were. Or how not boy you were.

You looked again to the chatroom, and your blood went cold. Jaehee logged out of the chatroom. You were ready to cry when you saw her logging in again.

Jaehee Kang: (..?! Emoticon sticker)

Jaehee Kang: I'm sorry, i got surprised and touched the wrong place! It's no wonder you use that unicorn image, it does suit you.

Jaehee Kang: I mean, doesn't your hair color makes it hard to get jobs?

You blinked and giggled at her worry. That was very Jaehee, even if so unlike her to log out like that. You were so relieved. But she didn't agree that she found you attractive. That stung a little.

Alinchacha: nah, I worked as a party entertainer the past year.

Alinchacha: Before that, I was a teacher for disabled children. They have many hardships with other people, so at least it's a way to bring color to the classroom and their lives.

Jaehee Kang: So you must have experience in making parties work out.

Alinchacha: lolol, only children's parties tho

Jaehee Kang: I never imagined that you were a teacher.

Jaehee Kang: But it makes sense, you are very patient with Seven and Yoosung.

Alinchacha: The two children of RFA lolol

Jaehee Kang: Yes =-="

Jaehee Kang: I'm curious, Alin Chi

Jaehee Kang: Why did you went from teacher to entertainer?

You bit your botton lip. Of course, it's due the way people treat disabled people such as yourself, you would hide yours but you could still see children being discriminated against, bullied by adults who should care for them, and not being able to help no matter how much you tried. You quit due to frustration.

Alinchacha: lolol, being a teacher didn't give me too much freedom to make children happy

Alinchacha: i gave up after watching an adult slap a disabled kid for eating messy lolololol

A tear fell out of your eye and you had to clean your phone screen. You hoped that Jaehee would understand. You so hoped. It was so painful to watch children being treated as less. People like you who couldn't pass as normal, being treated as less.

Jaehee Kang: What? But

Jaehee Kang: Why would they do that?!

You sobbed. As you already knew, Jaehee is too kind.

Alinchacha: Because they are considered spoiled for receiving help.

Alinchacha: They are disabled, and have a hard time doing things, and other things are impossible. It was painful to watch my colleagues being so horrible, so i left. My bosses didn't care or believe me anyway

Alinchacha: But some parents liked me, so they would hire me to play in Christmas parties with the children, and other holidays, and birthdays as well. And it gave me more jobs because more parents wanted to hire me. So i stayed in the job.

Jaehee Kang: I... Understand.

Jaehee Kang: You are very brave, Alin.

You couldn't read anymore, your eyes so wet they made everything look blurry.

Jaehee Kang: Are you there, Alin?

Jaehee Kang: .. Are you crying?;;

Jaehee Kang: I'm sorry about what happened to those children. They were very lucky for having you to rely on.

Jaehee Kang: And the RFA now is lucky for having you as a member.

**Author's Note:**

> edit: nobody says they like it, they just give kudos, so i guess i will stop making mysme fanfics. it's not like anyone will miss my writing, lol


End file.
